What I’m Working On With My Clients This Week

Coping with feeling like a single parent when you’re not — and what it looks like to step out of that role.

It’s no shock that high-achieving women of color have historically carried the invisible load — holding it together, making it look easy, and pushing through until burnout hits. Research consistently shows that chronic stress has real effects on the body, brain, and emotional regulation (McEwen, 2007).

This past week, I learned of a mother who passed away from a brain aneurysm. Her son was her entire world, and she poured into him with all her heart. What immediately came to mind was how no one will ever show up for him the way she did. And still, the body can only take so much. Stress accumulates, and when it goes unmanaged, it becomes harmful — not just emotionally, but physically (van der Kolk, 2014).

There is simply no way one person can do everything and stay healthy, grounded, and emotionally regulated. Something eventually gives — and too often, that “something” is us. Especially for women who have been conditioned to endure without complaint (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2019).

But what if there is a way to find a little more balance? (I use that word gently.) Life will always tip back and forth, but claiming moments for your voice, your peace, and your parent identity is essential.

As women of color, we don’t always get our flowers while we can smell them. So, we must learn to give them to ourselves. Asking for help, connecting with caregivers, and tapping into community support all have real, research-backed benefits for mental and physical health (Thoits, 2011).

When I work with clients, I’m often helping them rewrite the internal narrative that they’re “failing.” More often, they’re simply overwhelmed — and human. A big part of my work with parents is helping them recognize and learn how to tend to themselves, and how to integrate that self-care without feeling guilty for stepping away. Our nervous systems are not built to be in survival mode 24/7. And when caregiving becomes chronic and unsupported, toxic stress becomes a real risk (Shonkoff et al., 2012).

So I want to encourage parents to set boundaries, notice what tasks can realistically wait, and ask for help — even small, practical help that gives you time back. Ask someone—a relative, friend, neighbor, church member for time. Ask them to read to your child, take them to a museum, play outside, or watch a movie with them. Time is a resource that allows your nervous system to reset (Porges, 2011).

And lastly, reflect.

When are you feeling most alone?

Is there one thing you can stop carrying — the need to respond immediately, to plan, to coordinate, to hold all the emotional labor — so you don’t burn out before anyone notices you’re exhausted?

Your needs matter.

Your rest matters.

And you don’t have to do it all to be a good parent.

Redefine Success

Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.

The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.

You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.

Small Steps Create Big Shifts

Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.

The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.

You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.

Turn Intention Into Action

Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.

The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.

You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.

Make Room for Growth

Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.

The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are. Big goals can feel overwhelming when viewed all at once, but momentum builds through small, consistent action. Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.

You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals, you just need to be willing. Willing to try, willing to learn, and willing to believe that you’re capable of more than you know. The road may not always be smooth, but growth rarely is. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming.